chewin' the fat

so due to the fact that some upstanding citizen stole my camera right from out under my nose at work(!!!!!!) this blog is pictureless...
and we weren't even going to blog about it until we were sitting around the table nibbling on the fat of the ham we just ate, when i exclaimed "we're chewing the fat" ... ya know, like the saying "chewin' the fat"
so i decided that was too good of a blog title to not use...

kat's little sister liz lives in vermont and was nice enough to provide kat with a shmorgasbord of vegetables and a big ol slice of pig...and that's really what it should be called...not ham, pig.
we studded the ham slice with cloves and baked it with pineapple rings. it was so good.

kat made her famous mashed potatoes out of my last three sad little taters, i made wax beans with garlic, sauteed almonds, and a squeeze of lemon, corn on the cob with garlic butter, and cooked carrots with sugar and salt.

it was all delicious, it felt like christmas in september...

and then to top the night off, we used kat's birthday present to me, the whirlypop. the wonderful fabulous dangerous whirlipop. it shot hot oil out onto me, made a bunch of noise, and made delicious popcorn...it was good until we put the topping kat bought me :) she thought it was caramel sauce but it turns out it was espresso flavored...a little weird, even for me and kat.

what'd we do tonight? we chewed the fat...

mouse in sink jambalaya + unfat fat girl lemon curd

let me start with a story from years ago.

kat lived with our friend monizeh in a house attached to the bar dirty frank's. the house was infested with mice. it was disgusting, but always amusing. whether it was a mouse jumping out of the cabinet and hitting you on the shoulder or conning someone into hitting the trash bag with the swiffer to see how many would come out, a good time was had by all.
i digress! so anyway, one night kat got a text message from mo that just said "mouse in sink".
you would think that would be pretty self explanatory, but kat wasn't exactly sure what to think. she walked into the kitchen and sure enough, there was a mouse in the sink. he was tiny and couldn't get out on his own. kat didn't know what to do, so she just watched him for awhile until this tiny little guy worked up some momentum and hurled himself up onto the counter...success.

so anyway, as kat and i walk into my kitchen to make a delicious jambalaya, there was a mouse in my sink! now, i don't like mice, and I had a million horrible ideas of how to get rid of it. i won't even mention them for fear of hate mail...i know sal! shut up! i called my mom....she is much more hands on than i am. she told me to put a bowl over him and then a paper plate under...typing that gives me the willies...i just couldn't handle it if that plate buckled...the poor little guy was trying so hard to get out...periodically taking breaks in the drain cup where he looked like he might have been praying.

then! i had an epiphany! i would put a watering can in the sink and hope that he'd go in it so we could take him outside...and he did! i don't really need to tell you much more...

once all of this had transpired, we both agreed that we needed a drink. kat is afraid of the cuisinart but went ahead and made quite the delicious treat. it consisted of ice, vodka, raspberries, and sweetened lime juice. it was the perfect accompaniment to our spicy jambalaya.

so once the mouse was out and the sink and counter sanitized...we were finally able to start our jambalaya! we began by sauteeing hot italian turkey sausage with green bell pepper, onion, and celery.

then, we sprinkled some flour over the yummy combination, let it cook for a few minutes, and then poured a can of chicken stock and a can of diced tomatoes. we let them all cook together for a few minutes, adding cayenne pepper, chili powder, worcestire sauce, and poulty seasoning.

once that cooked together, we added the shrimp!

then we paired it with an ice cream scoop of white rice and we were all set to go...an easy and delicious meal we'll be sure to make again...mouse in sink jambalaya!

a good time was had by all...there was rice on my leg, kat was all messed up from being so full, it was awesome...



so i know what you're thinking...where's the dessert?! have no fear, we wouldn't let you down. kat and i have a knack for making some of the weirdest food choices, and we certainly went a strange direction this time. our original recipe was a lemon curd filled cake. however, when i read the reviews, i realized it was a passover cake, and for some reason (not that i haven't had delicious passover desserts!!!) it turned me off...i love a good passover dessert, but it just felt funny to me that it wasn't passover. Anyjewish, we decided to make it anyway. However, once the mouse was found in the sink, it really threw a wrench in our plans. Things took much longer than anticipated, so we decided to just make the lemon curd and eat them with the delicious raspberries we had just bought.

the good news is, the lemon curd was super simple...the bad news is, the lemon curd was super simple. this means i will be making it more often than i should. the recipe came out of a cooking light, but there were def. six eggs in it and 2 tbs. of butter. i already have plans of make a raspberry curd and lemon curd, swirling them together...oh god, i'm totally out of control!

so you start out beating together six eggs and a cup of sugar ( i know! it's a lot! but it made a ton of this stuff!)

(golf claps for kat's awesome action shot)

after that, you add 3/4 cup of lemon juice and the rind of two lemons. as you'll see in the photos, i did strips of lemon rind. i really liked the texture of it, but if you're looking for a super smooth curd, use a traditional zester!

then, you'll put this mixture into a good heavy bottomed pot (avoid the heavy bottom joke those of you that are mean are thinking!) and heat it up on medium heat. number one rule!!! (this really stressed kat out, at one point, it was like a wave pool!) never let it boil! that will cook the eggs and totally ruin your curd...curd is such a gross word, let's call it delicious heaven from here on out...


once the delicious heaven starts thickening, add two tbs. of butter to the mixture. once the butter is melted completely, and it's thoroughly thickened, pour it into a chilly bowl and pop it in the fridge!

since we didn't have the cake to go with our delicious heaven, i sauteed some almond slivers with a sprinkle of sugar and salt


pair it with fresh raspberries, and ta da! you have delicious heaven...


i bet you didn't know that an entry beginning with a story about a nasty little mouse would end so gloriously...


disclaimer 1: it was hot in the kitchen and i was flustered. that's why i looked sweaty and gross.

disclaimer 2: kat told me i wasn't allowed to put the picture of her and the cuisinart on unless i photoshopped her chin. i am lazy, so i will just put up a disclaimer. kat does not have double chins, she is just scared of the cuisinart.

bon voyage!

i know...this is getting just crazy...three posts in a night...

but...kat left for italy tonight to visit her sister lizz (who i believe is somewhere on this blog) and i made turkey meatballs and pasta in her honor. she will be gone for a whole week...i will miss her lots. i would post pictures of my beautiful and delicious meal, but every picture came out looking like vomit.

ciao!

seriously jewish

i know! i know! it's like christmas! or hannukah in this case! two posts in one night seems too good to be true after such a long break, but rest easy, it's true, folks.

i just thought that i'd share my beautiful and delicious sunday breakfast...bagel with cream cheese, smoked salmon, and red onion, yum. i had it with yummy tangerine juice which i noticed in the photograph was the same color as the fish!

easter fun! minus the eggs...and afternoon eating...and with a jew!

i know it's been a long time, but between starting a new job and just finishing up a detox diet with my sister sarah this past week, that not only gave me the most intense heartburn i've ever had but also happened to be a meat eater's worst nightmare...oh yea, and this entry is dedicated to john robinson...you know why!


so anyway...as i've said before, kat and i enjoy celebrating just about any holiday that includes yummy food, so we planned a quite decadent easter dinner when it rolled around... our game plan included a turkey ham, (which i love and kat was very scared about, but ended up loving) cauliflower gratin, courtesy of ina garten, sauteed string beans with garlic and almond slivers, and homemade buttermilk biscuits. this was all before my diet this past week...now you see why.

i had already made the biscuits by the time kat came over...



been happy, but alas...kat was feeling pretty cranky for some reason by the time she got to my place, so i planted her at theso you would think she would have kitchen table with some wine and snacks and took over the cauliflower gratin. the gratin was pretty simple...i started it by steaming the cauliflower, then making a simple roux, adding both gruyere and parmesan cheeses. it was topped with some bread crumbs and then put into the oven to do it's magic for about a half hour...i sometimes find gruyere to smell a bit "footy" but this smelled awesome and didn't taste footy at all. it was awesome.



the string beans were very simple, just a quick sautee with some garlic, lemon zest, almond slivers, jalepenos for a kick, and we were ready to go...i thought they were especially great spicy alongside the sweet turkey ham and creamy gratin.


now onto our beautiful crowning glory! the turkey ham! kat was very nervous about this strange beast, but i assured her that it would be delicious and i did not disappoint. the turkey ham was a hit...we adorned it traditionally with cloves and pineapples making it sweet and salty, just how i like it...













our finished plates were beautiful and delicious...we all ate so much that we took pictures of our big round bellies afterwards...but i didn't want to post those because let's face it, that's just plain embarassing...here's kat full and happy with a glass of wine...

na-chos

first and foremost! i want to dedicate my entry about nachos to my loyal reader and my second (more lenient) mother, wendy! turns out, wendy tunes into this blog every day to see if i've written something new. wendy is this blog's new mascot! go wendy! that's wendy!-------------->




okay, now onto the less important, non wendy related stuff...

when kat and i do it, we do it right...so when we decided to make nachos, after an afternoon of sitting in bed watching kat shove clothes and bags into under bed tupperwares (she just moved) we went all out, making all our trimmings from scratch.

it all started with the guacamole, which is what we were really craving...sometimes with us, we will plan an entire dinner around a condiment. kat was in charge of the guac and the pico de gallo. we cried a bunch from the onions, but made it through...i tried the whole wearing sunglasses while cutting onions thing but let's be real..it doesn't help and nobody looks cool cutting onions with a pair of ray bans on.

so kat came up with an amazing pico de gallo which of course we didn't get a photo of...and an awesome (as usual) guacamole as well...our guac consists of avocado, onion, shallot, lots of lime juice, jalapeno, lemon, and salt and pepper. Defineitely salt...kat and i are pretty intense as far as salt goes...so here's the guac...it was delicious..be jealous. i know
that the guacamole doesn't look that good in these photos, i'm not
sure why...i have a pretty good camera..it's beyond me...but the
guac was super good...compliment kat on it next time you see her.

when kat was little and her parents made tacos, they used to put a bowl out with sliced black olives. by the time they'd put the olives out on the table, kat had eaten the whole thing. needless to say, not much has changed. kat is a fucking maniac when it comes to black olives. SO, our nachos consisted of multi grain corn chips, ground beef, cooked with spices and onions, BLACK OLIVES and lots of them, cheddar cheese, shredded lettuce, homemade pico de gallo, homemade guacamole, sour cream, and hot hot sauce poured all over my side of the nachos.


and because a dinner wouldn't be complete without a yummy alcoholic beverage, kat and i whipped up these treats. vodka mixed with lemon and lime juice, a splash of grapefruit, and lots of ice. a great accompaniment to the spicy nachos. also, as you can see from the background (theraflu box) i was attempting to conquer some kind of sickness...in case you didn't know...vodka drinks and theraflu equals CONK OUT!
i'm not recommending it...i dont' want any of you out there to pull a heath ledger, but it's pretty great combo if i do say so myself... if you don't die that is. as you can see, kat agrees.

soft serve!!

oh loyal blog readers! i know you've been wondering where i've been...probably checking every fifteen minutes at work and all...we'll i'm here and i made cheesecake soft serve. my inner fat girl came out.

we know that alton brown says you should never have a kitchen appliance that only serves one purpose, but when my sister received a soft serve machine for the holidays, we knew what our duty was. cheesecake soft serve ice cream.

okay, now, we introduce my sister, sarah. there are a few things you need to know about my sister.
1)she is the queen of food allergies, wheat, gluten, egg whites, pineapple, peanuts...you name it, it gives her a migraine or makes her skin flake off! but we'll forgive her for that...she's been through a lot (like the years of braces rubberbands with a latex allergy)
2)she is the martha stewart of her generation. she sent her husband to work with eleven different kinds of cookies for his coworkers around the holidays. AND she didn't even make the gluten free. cookie making with no licking the spoon. that is self control.
3)she loves cheesecake, she likes the tang, i hate the tang.
4)she always has the best food at her house. turkey pepperoni and girl scout cookies...oh and a million different kinds of soda!

now that we've gotten that out of the way, we found a recipe for cheesecake ice cream...so to convert it to soft serve, you pretty much cut the freezing time off a bit and instead of churning in a traditional ice cream maker, you put it in this giant soft serve contraption...in our experience, when the top of it starts popping off and spilling ice cream all over the place, it is time to dispense it.

we started by zesting and juicing one lemon. this gave a really nice (acceptable in my book) tang and a freshness to the ice cream. we added the juice and zest to our combination of sour cream, cream cheese, and sugar.
it was already starting to
smell delicious so we were totally ready to lick the beaters.
ugh, i know this is a disgusting photograph of me, i'm sorry i'subjecting you to it, for those of you who have never met me, i dont look like this in person, i swear. anyway, back to the really important stuff...so after all the mixing was finished, the batter went into the freezer, (covered) for about four hours. after the four hours, (once the batter had a similar consistency to real ice cream), it went into the soft serve machine.
the soft serve machine is pretty similar to a traditional ice cream maker, in fact, in retrospect, it's pretty much the same.. except it doesn't stay in for as long and gets squeezed out a little hole at the bottom. this puppy also had an option to add toppings directly into the
ice cream, but we decided against it...it seemed awfully messy.
we went the traditional route of topping our ice cream after it came out. my sister got really into the ice cream making as you can see by this lovely picture. here's what our yummy ice cream came out looking like...it was so good i felt like i could eat about five bowls of it...but since i made it and saw everything that went into it (fat fat fat), I decided to cut myself off at one...
and a half.
here's my mom looking happy with her ice cream cone and a cup of coffee. most of the coffee cups at my sister's house have some sort of jewish something on them...as now documented on my blog. everybody was so happy with their ice cream, the room was silent. everybody but baci because he wasn't allowed to have any. baci has a lot of allergies too...we are definitely all related.





Baci is the dog!